You're Just A Boy

I‘ve heard the following statement a lot, “Your great but, I’m just not ready for a relationship right now. I mean I’d like to keep hanging out because you’re a cool chick, but it’s up to you.” I respond with an, F You, and punch him in the face…okay maybe not, but I thought about it. After my overly dramatic response subsides I can never decide what I am most disappointed in, 1) He couldn’t have come up with a less stereotypical way to dump me, or 2) This is happening again.

Why is it that men are so scared of the “R” word?

The saying, “You can’t have your cake and eat it to” doesn’t seem to apply to most men. They want to be friends, have sex, and be able to date around. It is a well known fact that woman get emotionally attached after sex. Giving it up to an emotionally unavailable man is not something a self respecting intellectual female would do. Which means in order for him to eat that cake he has to feed you all the sweet things you wants to hear, “You’re beautiful”, “You’re different than other girls” and so on. Then before you know it you two are going to movies, hanging out multiple times a week and having mind blowing sex. For most women this means all lights are a GO! You find yourself happy. Maybe you don’t know where things are going, but you just enjoy his company and that priceless feeling that someone understands you. Then there goes your guard. Your guard is so low you couldn’t trip over it while walking blindfolded down the street .

To make a clear point I have a scenario for you ladies. Say you are in the above mentioned relationship. OH excuse me I mean the “R” word, don‘t want to scare you away now. So pictures this, time goes by. Your feeling pretty good about yourself and this re……ship. Then you find out homeboy is going to a concert with another woman. He, of course, reassures you it’s not a date they’re just friends. He must of forgot who he was talking to because your not an…idiot. So after doing the adult thing and effectively communicating about this quandary, he nonchalantly hands you, “Well we’re not together so I’m going to do whatever I want”. Obviously this man is selfish and you deserve better, but for arguments sake lets keep going. How do you handle this? What do you say? You were so incredibly happy one minute then your hopes were trampled on like an ant hill discovered by a little boy who is just having a good ol’ time.

Here is where men and woman appear to be different. For the woman nothing would have changed. A title. That was all she was hoping for. For the man his entire independent life would have been ripped away. She was about to clamp on the shackles and tie him to his Lazy Boy for life. And they say women are over dramatic. Why are men so afraid that monogamy and monotony are the same word?