Girls are tricky! Sometimes I feel really bad for men because there are a lot of women who say one thing, but mean another. I am not one of them, but due to Pavlov’s Theory men assume I am. I due have to admit though I was like that, but not anymore. Shockingly I found by acting this way I was not getting what I wanted. Women also fall into the pit of expecting the guy to know exactly what we need from them without actually ever communicating our needs. How many times have you thought you were in a committed relationship with a guy only to find out he was not on the same page? You devote so much of your free time to him that dating around would be more of a chore than anything else, yet he seems to find all the time in the world. Committing to you did not even enter his mind. Especially when you have not communicated the idea.
Miscommunication was title to my summer blockbuster. It came up that Homeboy wanted to go somewhere with another girl and I couldn’t fathom seeing another guy. I even stopped spending time with Mozart so it wouldn’t interfere with my judgment. Now when I brought up to him that seeing this girl made me uncomfortable it gave him room to use my favorite come back of all time, “Well we never talked about us being exclusive so I don’t understand why your upset”. UGH! I did not have a rebuttal because he was right. I did not communicate that I cared about him…exclusively. Of course in the end it was best we parted ways because he could not give me what I wanted. I still think he is a good person just not for me.
In another friendship my girl Brooklyn is friends with this guy. It seems as though all he wants to do is make out with her. She keeps telling him, no. It must not be clicking because he keeps trying. So my advice for guys is: If she says NO she means it! I’m pretty sure this topic is covered in some important PSAs. Now I can see where he probably thinks she is playing hard to get. I’m sure girls in his past play the, “no I don’t want it, oh okay” game. I assure you she is not. Although at some point she will need to communicate, Buddy give it a rest already. My generation is one that loves having men as plutonic friends. So when we say that is all we want go ahead and believe us.
Then there are the times when we are head over heals in love with our plutonic male friends. Communicating these feelings seem like a death sentence waiting to be carried out. I have another girlfriend, Ella, who has a male friend that she is so in love with but terrified to say anything. So she keeps hanging out with him. From what she’s told me it is very Dawson’s Creek. They are close to being best friends and she can tell him anything, except how she feels. Now how many have you been where she is? So afraid to cross the line and ruin the friendship. I wish I had better advice for her. I always say be true to how you feel and go for it. Of course easier said than done! I have had a crush on someone for a long time now and don’t say one word for fear of it not being reciprocated. So what is worst, living in your own lonely hell or loosing the person that makes you happy? Is it worth the risk to lay it on the line? As you can see it did not end well for Buddy or myself.
“What Am I To You” by Norah Jones this song is so perfect for this post, if I do say so myself!
Okay this one is just for fun because I couldn’t resist! Keep watching for the audio clips. I remember being so in love with Pacey!
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Friday, September 23, 2011
I'm That Special Kinda Girl...Friday Video!
Apparently it’s engagement season. I’m not sure if anyone else has noticed, but it feels as though the entire world is engaged right now. This Friday video comes from CeCe Peniston and is one I love to dance to, but cannot relate with. However, there are many people close to me that can. So in honor of the 3 weddings I’ll be attending this year here’s one to dance your ass off to…at least the guy is hot!
Oh and if your having trouble leaving comments I'm told if you list yourself under Anonymous it will let you.
Oh and if your having trouble leaving comments I'm told if you list yourself under Anonymous it will let you.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Monogomy!
Here is a scene from the movie, How Do You Know. It’s a comedy with Paul Rudd, Reese Witherspoon, Owen Wilson, and Jack Nicholson. A little back-story for you: Owen’s character, Matty, is the stereotypical semi-pro athlete. Reese plays Lisa, a 31 year old softball player for the USA team, who has just been cut from the team and recently started dating Matty.
Matty is in the living room perched atop the arm of his couch texting. Lisa is in the next room the conversation carries on…
M: I’m gunna miss you babe
L: Echo that [pause] What are you gunna do with yourself?
M: Well I’m going to be teaching these great kids at this clinic and then I’m going to register for classes an the team is playing close by [walks into the living room] so I was thinking of stopping by, but anyway…
[She sees him texting, pauses. He turns to look at her and with a small gasp closes his cell and puts it back in his pant pocket.]
L: We need to talk for a second
M: Okay I will call you from the car.
L: Are we monogamous?
M: Look your feelin’ this way because of the road trip, but we don’t have time for this.
L: How much time does it take to answer?
M: Well the answers yes, of course, essentially.
L: What is essentially?
M: Let’s talk about it, essentially, here we go. Look I’m nothing like the wild man I used to be. You know and if it bothers you I can cut out even the anonymous sex because I think we’re heading for the biggest result that can happen for a dating couple and I’m thrilled about that.
L: Anonymous sex?
M: A guys willing to go a thousand miles for you and you criticize him because he admittedly hasn’t covered that last yard yet.
L: oh wow whew [she takes it in]
M: But damn it you know he’s trying I think your heart goes out a little…Lisa, Lisa, Lisa?
L: You have to get to the team bus. You never miss the team bus.
M: Okay.
L: We’ll talk.
M: Okay, okay, I’m gunna catch the, I’m a I’m a be on time, but we’ll talk okay?
L: We’ll talk. I’m moving out, but we’ll talk.
M: Whoa no no no no no you can’t, don’t break up with me.
L: See that’s the thing Matty is I don’t know if what we have is even anything breakable.
M: Of course it is and you’re doing it. Where are you going to go?
L: I’m in luck my tenants hate my place so they’re trying to go out of the deal…Just don’t miss the team bus okay!
M: Okay okay okay I’ve decided I’m going to be monogamous. I’m going to be monogamous, but you too right? I mean, you’re, you can still move out, but , but you’re gunna be monogamous too, okay?
L: [sigh] Sure…
M: Well give me a real yes
L: [sigh] ya…
M: Okay. I think it’s going to be okay. I know it’s going to be, I know it’s going to be okay.
L: Go
M: [sigh] Alright. Why do girls always look so pretty the minuet they’re not sure about you.
L: Ugh just get outta here.
M: Okay no not answering the phone! MONOGOMY!
I had to stop the movie and watch this scene again. It was not only hilarious watching Owen talk his way out of the situation, but oh so close to real life. Actually my post called, You’re Just A Boy covers how I feel about men and the R word. I just wanted to share this scene and how art reflects life everyday. Know you may be thinking, “Ah Karen get over it some guys just aren’t ready to settle down”. Well jokes on you because today I’m not talking about the men folk. I’m talking about us women who don’t want to settle. So take that pipe and smoke it!
“Monogamy is a bullshit story!” There is no reason to settle down for the sake of settling down. We are living in an age where woman have babies at 50, not recommended by the way, but you get my point. What’s the rush? I’m tried of going to events where people ask me, “Oh do you have a nice boyfriend?” I want to reply with, “No I have a really crappy one”, but then I realize this isn’t Juno and dark comedy goes severely underappreciated in real life. Every time I walk into my grandparents house I get asked, “How’s your boyfriend?” ummm when did I have one to ask about? I guess they’re just hoping one day I will say, “Oh he’s fantastic we’re getting married this spring and having a baby boy by Christmas!” Halleluiah, Amen! The world is right again.
After the smoldering piles of burned bras and 50’s advertising have cooled why is it that women are still held to certain life expectations? If I want to be a less whoreish version of Samatha Jones from Sex And The City I should have every right to be. So why the guilty? Or better yet why the doubt?
This video is the acoustic version because I’m not a big fan of the recorded one. I think Stereo is fun and of course I love that a woman came out with this song. Enjoy!
Matty is in the living room perched atop the arm of his couch texting. Lisa is in the next room the conversation carries on…
M: I’m gunna miss you babe
L: Echo that [pause] What are you gunna do with yourself?
M: Well I’m going to be teaching these great kids at this clinic and then I’m going to register for classes an the team is playing close by [walks into the living room] so I was thinking of stopping by, but anyway…
[She sees him texting, pauses. He turns to look at her and with a small gasp closes his cell and puts it back in his pant pocket.]
L: We need to talk for a second
M: Okay I will call you from the car.
L: Are we monogamous?
M: Look your feelin’ this way because of the road trip, but we don’t have time for this.
L: How much time does it take to answer?
M: Well the answers yes, of course, essentially.
L: What is essentially?
M: Let’s talk about it, essentially, here we go. Look I’m nothing like the wild man I used to be. You know and if it bothers you I can cut out even the anonymous sex because I think we’re heading for the biggest result that can happen for a dating couple and I’m thrilled about that.
L: Anonymous sex?
M: A guys willing to go a thousand miles for you and you criticize him because he admittedly hasn’t covered that last yard yet.
L: oh wow whew [she takes it in]
M: But damn it you know he’s trying I think your heart goes out a little…Lisa, Lisa, Lisa?
L: You have to get to the team bus. You never miss the team bus.
M: Okay.
L: We’ll talk.
M: Okay, okay, I’m gunna catch the, I’m a I’m a be on time, but we’ll talk okay?
L: We’ll talk. I’m moving out, but we’ll talk.
M: Whoa no no no no no you can’t, don’t break up with me.
L: See that’s the thing Matty is I don’t know if what we have is even anything breakable.
M: Of course it is and you’re doing it. Where are you going to go?
L: I’m in luck my tenants hate my place so they’re trying to go out of the deal…Just don’t miss the team bus okay!
M: Okay okay okay I’ve decided I’m going to be monogamous. I’m going to be monogamous, but you too right? I mean, you’re, you can still move out, but , but you’re gunna be monogamous too, okay?
L: [sigh] Sure…
M: Well give me a real yes
L: [sigh] ya…
M: Okay. I think it’s going to be okay. I know it’s going to be, I know it’s going to be okay.
L: Go
M: [sigh] Alright. Why do girls always look so pretty the minuet they’re not sure about you.
L: Ugh just get outta here.
M: Okay no not answering the phone! MONOGOMY!
I had to stop the movie and watch this scene again. It was not only hilarious watching Owen talk his way out of the situation, but oh so close to real life. Actually my post called, You’re Just A Boy covers how I feel about men and the R word. I just wanted to share this scene and how art reflects life everyday. Know you may be thinking, “Ah Karen get over it some guys just aren’t ready to settle down”. Well jokes on you because today I’m not talking about the men folk. I’m talking about us women who don’t want to settle. So take that pipe and smoke it!
“Monogamy is a bullshit story!” There is no reason to settle down for the sake of settling down. We are living in an age where woman have babies at 50, not recommended by the way, but you get my point. What’s the rush? I’m tried of going to events where people ask me, “Oh do you have a nice boyfriend?” I want to reply with, “No I have a really crappy one”, but then I realize this isn’t Juno and dark comedy goes severely underappreciated in real life. Every time I walk into my grandparents house I get asked, “How’s your boyfriend?” ummm when did I have one to ask about? I guess they’re just hoping one day I will say, “Oh he’s fantastic we’re getting married this spring and having a baby boy by Christmas!” Halleluiah, Amen! The world is right again.
After the smoldering piles of burned bras and 50’s advertising have cooled why is it that women are still held to certain life expectations? If I want to be a less whoreish version of Samatha Jones from Sex And The City I should have every right to be. So why the guilty? Or better yet why the doubt?
This video is the acoustic version because I’m not a big fan of the recorded one. I think Stereo is fun and of course I love that a woman came out with this song. Enjoy!
Friday, September 16, 2011
Follow You
Hunting. Man loves to hunt. They pack up their truck with expensive gear, take 2 weeks off of work, drive hundreds of miles, set up camp in the middle of nowhere, freeze their asses off , and sit in a tree for HOURS! All for what? I know campfire Starbucks isn’t that good. The fun is in the chase, the adventure of not knowing if they’ll win the trophy game or go home empty handed. Some laws only allows hunters to leave with one in the bag. If the hunter gets his one on the first day he can’t hunt for the rest of vacation and even though he has won his prize he still feels some dissatisfaction . I’m sure the correlation is obvious here. If something is too easy to get do we really want it? Better yet is it worth having?
Women are known for talking about how they don’t want to play games. All we want is to meet a nice guy that won’t break our hearts. Tried of dating the emotionally unavailable, immature, and unreliable men that walk all over our hearts we start dating guys outside of our type. Do me a favor and think about the type of men folk described above and what it felt like. Now think of the times you dated the safe ones. Which guy did you feel more alive and entertained by? I’m going to guess it wasn’t the latter.
Homegirl and I were talking about why we keep dating the same types of guys. Here are a few of the questions we asked each other: Are we masochists, are we equally emotionally unavailable, do we not want to settle down, holy crap do we have daddy issues??? Here’s a piece of advice for my man friends. If she is in her mid to late twenties and happy being single then you may want to watch out. Especially if you’re a nice guy because chances are she’ll eat you alive. I was friends with this dude, Chasez, and I was hot to trough for him. We didn’t live in the same town so most of our friendship grew through phone calls with the occasional dinner. When we finally moved closer together and hung out more frequently I found myself not wanting him anymore. He was a great guy who adored me. Now of course there were other issues, but what it came down to was that the chase was the biggest thrill. Once it became to easy and I saw that a real future was possible, I ran. Ever since then the only guy that has kept my attention is the one that keeps my emotions in check. He gives a little then pulls back and I eat it up like candy. This is not something I’m proud of nor do I completely understand why I let it happen. I want to share this with you because I know a couple ladies that are exactly like myself. We fight fight fight for the guy that we want to be with, but emotionally he runs from us. My girls and I complain about how we’re tried of giving everything to these guys, but when it comes down to it we don’t walk away. Why hunt when we just end up shooting ourselves in the foot?
Women are known for talking about how they don’t want to play games. All we want is to meet a nice guy that won’t break our hearts. Tried of dating the emotionally unavailable, immature, and unreliable men that walk all over our hearts we start dating guys outside of our type. Do me a favor and think about the type of men folk described above and what it felt like. Now think of the times you dated the safe ones. Which guy did you feel more alive and entertained by? I’m going to guess it wasn’t the latter.
Homegirl and I were talking about why we keep dating the same types of guys. Here are a few of the questions we asked each other: Are we masochists, are we equally emotionally unavailable, do we not want to settle down, holy crap do we have daddy issues??? Here’s a piece of advice for my man friends. If she is in her mid to late twenties and happy being single then you may want to watch out. Especially if you’re a nice guy because chances are she’ll eat you alive. I was friends with this dude, Chasez, and I was hot to trough for him. We didn’t live in the same town so most of our friendship grew through phone calls with the occasional dinner. When we finally moved closer together and hung out more frequently I found myself not wanting him anymore. He was a great guy who adored me. Now of course there were other issues, but what it came down to was that the chase was the biggest thrill. Once it became to easy and I saw that a real future was possible, I ran. Ever since then the only guy that has kept my attention is the one that keeps my emotions in check. He gives a little then pulls back and I eat it up like candy. This is not something I’m proud of nor do I completely understand why I let it happen. I want to share this with you because I know a couple ladies that are exactly like myself. We fight fight fight for the guy that we want to be with, but emotionally he runs from us. My girls and I complain about how we’re tried of giving everything to these guys, but when it comes down to it we don’t walk away. Why hunt when we just end up shooting ourselves in the foot?
Friday, September 9, 2011
Sadness I'm Your Girl
I know I usually have fun upbeat videos for Friday kick offs, but today this video serves a duel purpose. First, it’s a dedication to Brooklyn, a long time friend who is going through a rough patch. I uncomfortably relate to this video. I want her and everyone else to know you are not alone. Second, the next post will be another Lykke Li video so I wanted to warm you up to her. She has quickly become an artist whose music I feel a deep connection towards. I can’t wait for next weeks post/music duo. I love love love her videos . I will be talking about the men we can’t help but follow. I know for a fact this is a relatable topic for some of you ladies!
Here is the smallest peak into my private side. Normally I would say, “hope you enjoy”, but that’s not the point. Please just take it in…
Here is the smallest peak into my private side. Normally I would say, “hope you enjoy”, but that’s not the point. Please just take it in…
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Take These Rings
Like Drake says, “I’m just doing me and you can’t understand it”. The closer a woman gets to 30 the more society pressures her to put a ring on it, but what if that’s not what she wants? How are we even suppose to know what we want at this point in our life? With my 28th birthday around the corner marriage couldn’t be father from my mind. In fact, I am not even interested in dating. When or why my attitude changed I am not sure. I watch Facebook and see girls from high school and college settling down and having their 2 or 3rd kid. I want nothing to do with that lifestyle. What is that makes some woman want to settle down and others not?
I think every woman should have a period of time when they are completely on their own: no serious relationship, no casual dating, no fuck buddy. There are so many people that have never had the opportunity to rely solely on themselves. Usually people float from relationship to relationship without lag time. How are you suppose to learn about yourself if you’re never by yourself?
I was in a committed relationship for 6 years, yep 18 to 24. Then one day it was like the blinders came off and I saw that I was not my own person. I spent the most defining period of my adult life being shaped by someone else. I became the person that I thought he wanted me to be. I didn’t know what I wanted from my own life. Most every decision I made revolved around my perception of the way things were suppose to be. So I rolled the dice and did the hardest thing I’ve ever done. The entire year after I ended the relationship was the most challenging scary year of my life. I just kept telling myself you have to do this, you don’t even know who you are. I never felt so alone. Two and a half years later I have yet to be in a serious relationship, by choice. I’ve dated some really great men and some real pieces of work, but to this day there’s not one regret . That journey was the smartest move I could have made for myself.
When you’re a woman in your late 20’s early 30’s there is a fear of getting into a relationship and loosing that independence. If you’re a man your afraid to give up serial dating. I always thought that was the dumbest mind frame. When I was seeing Mozart his friends kept telling me, “He could meet the girl of his dreams tomorrow and he wouldn’t date her.” to which I scoffed and rolled my eyes, but now I get it. The worlds largest light bulb went off and I shutter to say I‘m now in the same boat. You get to a point in your life when being on your own is better than compromising for someone else. Only having to make decisions for yourself and not worry about pissing off your significant other is priceless. Plus I figure marriage will last a lifetime so why are people in such a damn hurry?
The following video is a cover band of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. So please don't worry about the video quality. The real Karen, yes we have the same name, is amazing and I suggest you look the band up. This video was the best recorded version of Cheated Hearts that I could find and post. Love this band love this song! Enjoy!
I think every woman should have a period of time when they are completely on their own: no serious relationship, no casual dating, no fuck buddy. There are so many people that have never had the opportunity to rely solely on themselves. Usually people float from relationship to relationship without lag time. How are you suppose to learn about yourself if you’re never by yourself?
I was in a committed relationship for 6 years, yep 18 to 24. Then one day it was like the blinders came off and I saw that I was not my own person. I spent the most defining period of my adult life being shaped by someone else. I became the person that I thought he wanted me to be. I didn’t know what I wanted from my own life. Most every decision I made revolved around my perception of the way things were suppose to be. So I rolled the dice and did the hardest thing I’ve ever done. The entire year after I ended the relationship was the most challenging scary year of my life. I just kept telling myself you have to do this, you don’t even know who you are. I never felt so alone. Two and a half years later I have yet to be in a serious relationship, by choice. I’ve dated some really great men and some real pieces of work, but to this day there’s not one regret . That journey was the smartest move I could have made for myself.
When you’re a woman in your late 20’s early 30’s there is a fear of getting into a relationship and loosing that independence. If you’re a man your afraid to give up serial dating. I always thought that was the dumbest mind frame. When I was seeing Mozart his friends kept telling me, “He could meet the girl of his dreams tomorrow and he wouldn’t date her.” to which I scoffed and rolled my eyes, but now I get it. The worlds largest light bulb went off and I shutter to say I‘m now in the same boat. You get to a point in your life when being on your own is better than compromising for someone else. Only having to make decisions for yourself and not worry about pissing off your significant other is priceless. Plus I figure marriage will last a lifetime so why are people in such a damn hurry?
The following video is a cover band of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. So please don't worry about the video quality. The real Karen, yes we have the same name, is amazing and I suggest you look the band up. This video was the best recorded version of Cheated Hearts that I could find and post. Love this band love this song! Enjoy!
Friday, September 2, 2011
Have A Heart Weekend!!
Happy Labor Day Weekend Ladies!
I wanted to start this weekend with one of my favorite videos from one of my favorite bands. This band, Sleigh Bells, was introduced to me by of course, a dude. The artistic side of me will always have an irrational little crush on Mozart for introducing to some of my recent favorite musical artist. The best part of being single is the menagerie of fun things you collect from your fleeting flings.
Below is the video for Rill Rill. It’s off of Sleigh Bell’s debut album Treats, which is defiantly worth a download. You’ll see more postings in the future from this album like, Run The Heart, probably my favorite song. BUT for this Labor Day holiday here's a video TREAT that warms my heart and soul…my dark twisted soul…enjoy!
I wanted to start this weekend with one of my favorite videos from one of my favorite bands. This band, Sleigh Bells, was introduced to me by of course, a dude. The artistic side of me will always have an irrational little crush on Mozart for introducing to some of my recent favorite musical artist. The best part of being single is the menagerie of fun things you collect from your fleeting flings.
Below is the video for Rill Rill. It’s off of Sleigh Bell’s debut album Treats, which is defiantly worth a download. You’ll see more postings in the future from this album like, Run The Heart, probably my favorite song. BUT for this Labor Day holiday here's a video TREAT that warms my heart and soul…my dark twisted soul…enjoy!
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