What am I to you?

Girls are tricky! Sometimes I feel really bad for men because there are a lot of women who say one thing, but mean another. I am not one of them, but due to Pavlov’s Theory men assume I am. I due have to admit though I was like that, but not anymore. Shockingly I found by acting this way I was not getting what I wanted. Women also fall into the pit of expecting the guy to know exactly what we need from them without actually ever communicating our needs. How many times have you thought you were in a committed relationship with a guy only to find out he was not on the same page? You devote so much of your free time to him that dating around would be more of a chore than anything else, yet he seems to find all the time in the world. Committing to you did not even enter his mind. Especially when you have not communicated the idea.

Miscommunication was title to my summer blockbuster. It came up that Homeboy wanted to go somewhere with another girl and I couldn’t fathom seeing another guy. I even stopped spending time with Mozart so it wouldn’t interfere with my judgment. Now when I brought up to him that seeing this girl made me uncomfortable it gave him room to use my favorite come back of all time, “Well we never talked about us being exclusive so I don’t understand why your upset”. UGH! I did not have a rebuttal because he was right. I did not communicate that I cared about him…exclusively. Of course in the end it was best we parted ways because he could not give me what I wanted. I still think he is a good person just not for me.

In another friendship my girl Brooklyn is friends with this guy. It seems as though all he wants to do is make out with her. She keeps telling him, no. It must not be clicking because he keeps trying. So my advice for guys is: If she says NO she means it! I’m pretty sure this topic is covered in some important PSAs. Now I can see where he probably thinks she is playing hard to get. I’m sure girls in his past play the, “no I don’t want it, oh okay” game. I assure you she is not. Although at some point she will need to communicate, Buddy give it a rest already. My generation is one that loves having men as plutonic friends. So when we say that is all we want go ahead and believe us.

Then there are the times when we are head over heals in love with our plutonic male friends. Communicating these feelings seem like a death sentence waiting to be carried out. I have another girlfriend, Ella, who has a male friend that she is so in love with but terrified to say anything. So she keeps hanging out with him. From what she’s told me it is very Dawson’s Creek. They are close to being best friends and she can tell him anything, except how she feels. Now how many have you been where she is? So afraid to cross the line and ruin the friendship. I wish I had better advice for her. I always say be true to how you feel and go for it. Of course easier said than done! I have had a crush on someone for a long time now and don’t say one word for fear of it not being reciprocated. So what is worst, living in your own lonely hell or loosing the person that makes you happy? Is it worth the risk to lay it on the line? As you can see it did not end well for Buddy or myself.

“What Am I To You” by Norah Jones this song is so perfect for this post, if I do say so myself!




Okay this one is just for fun because I couldn’t resist! Keep watching for the audio clips. I remember being so in love with Pacey!